One of Those Days

Everything that could go wrong, did. Impossible work load. Critical deadlines. Crucial emails and phone calls fighting for priority. Juggling tasks for too long lessened my attention to detail, and I had dropped everything I picked up. There was no break for a shower or to even put the contacts in. There was only time to plow straight through the schedule. Frustrations and all. Before I knew it, suppertime loomed on the horizon and the fridge was empty. There was barely time to make a frenetic run to the grocery store before the hubs was due home.

Circling the parking lot, the only empty spot was a sliver between two SUVs. Doesn't that just figure? The space was so tight I could barely open the door to get out. Exiting my car sideways, I lost my balance and nearly fell into one of the SUV owners and her bag of groceries. Managing an apologetic "sorry" and a half-smile, I aimed at the front door.

A disheveled mess on a mission, I prayed not to bump into anyone I knew. Grabbing the supper ingredients, I rushed for the checkout counter. One thing was certain, if I could made it safely back to the car and then home, this day would seen just be a bad memory.

Approaching the car, a folded piece of paper under the wiper blade caught my eye. There weren't any fliers on other cars and it couldn't be a parking ticket. I grabbed the paper, tossed the groceries inside, and collapsed into the driver's seat. Finally opening the paper, I read:

"If that was the best you could do for a smile, why bother? You obviously think you're better than everyone else, but let me tell you, you are not. Do us all a favor and get over yourself."

Complete shock! The note clearly had to be from the SUV woman. Was this a joke? We couldn't have exchanged more than one second of time in that brief encounter, yet it was time enough for her to make a serious judgment. And present the verdict to me. I have a deep-seated need to be understood. You don't have to agree with me, but just try to understand why I did or said what I did, and I'm good. This woman had terribly misunderstood my behavior, and left angry. There was no chance to explain. No chance to make this right.

Years ago, my reaction might have been to crumple the paper in my fist and let loose with dialogue questioning the woman's sanity. And calling her every name I could think of. Back then, my self-esteem and self-worth were so minimal that this fiery arrow would have pierced my heart. I would have become lost in those unhealthy feelings and emotions for days on end. That was "then".

"Now", since God has faithfully worked in my head and heart, this note provided an opportunity for a serious check. Did she have grounds? Was there any validity in her words? Does my human nature still deposit traces of false superiority in my life? If so, I had to address it right there, before going home. After searching my heart and motives, I realized that God impresses on me daily, check-it HOURLY, just how good I am on my own. Not pretty, that. Then, He shows me all I am through His Son. The difference is painfully clear.

As I calmly reread the note, the Holy Spirit filled me with the deepest sympathy for the woman. Is she unhappy? Does she wrestle with insecurity? What is going on in her life that such an obscure event would cause her to write an even-the-score note to a total stranger? Why was it so devastating when an off-balanced ragged-looking girl who didn't smile satisfactorily in that brief second?

Father God, I will never know all she is dealing with, but You do. Please work her through her issues. Be with her in a fresh new way. Thank You for this opportunity to check my heart. Please continue to dig out any self-righteous grit you see in me.

What unusual opportunities to check your heart has God allowed in your life? How has He refined your reactions to unfair situations? Changed your heart to pray for others? Be assured that He is ACTIVELY digging crud out of my life even as I type these words. And He will never stop, this side of the throne. It isn't pleasant, but crucial if I am to be the person He wants me to be. I am grateful for His refining, and for His disciple. Evidence of His love.